Focus, Forgiveness, and Caring a Lot Less

I know it’s a little late to be talking about New Year’s Resolutions.  The majority probably went straight in the bin by January 3rd.  I also know it’s rather early to be reflecting on resolutions that have held so far. Some people also just don’t like to set goals at the beginning of the year as self improvement is an ongoing process, which I totally get and actually agree with.  However, I feel like I wanted to share my main aim of the year, because if I share it then I am far more likely to stick to it.

Goodbye 2018: Hello Cliched Blog Post 

I would like to think of this less as a ‘New Year’s’ thing and more of a general life and happiness goal.   The fact of the matter is that I have a real issue with taking things to heart and mulling things over for weeks, months even.  I tend to end up making myself completely miserable over stuff that won’t matter in six months’ time.  This is no good for anybody involved.   This is something I realised I can learn to completely avoid as I bring it very much on myself.  So, I’ve decided to put a stop to this self destructive behaviour.  I can’t carry on stressing about things that happened years ago or feeling angry when certain names pop up on my Twitter feed.  It sounds ridiculous I guess, but I’ve gone cold turkey on caring.   Obviously not about important things like the environment and politics, but about the things that leave you angry with no real lasting meaning.

The first step to this was a social media cleanse.  I went through my Twitter and personal Instagram and unfollowed anyone who made me feel bad about my mind or body, posted negativity, and caused drama.  No one’s got time for that.  I was inspired to do this by Lucy Moon and her YouTube video ‘Organising my Life: Ten Mindful Habits for the New Year’.  She only follows people who inspire her, or who she considers a friend.  If you don’t make the cut, you’re out.  Taking this advice onboard has actually changed my general outlook and happiness.  I don’t see any negativity (the mute button is a blessing), and because I follow fewer people there is less to see, thus I spend far less time on social media.  That’s just generally good for your brain anyway.  There’s far less mindless late-night scrolling meaning far more energy and positive feelings in the morning!  This initial step has made me feel so much freer? It’s weird to think that social media can tie you down so much and bring such a negative energy into your life.

2019 is the year of forgiveness and water under the bridge for me.  Everyone in my life had their slates wiped clean this year.  I’m all for second chances and new beginnings.  It’s tiring holding a grudge and to be quite honest, it makes you completely miserable.  Life is way too short to care about the petty things.  There’s no easy way of just forgiving people, you just have to constantly remind yourself that it doesn’t matter to you anymore and eventually you won’t even think about it.  I think it’s less about the ‘forgivee’ and more about being the bigger person yourself.  I’d say I feel so much happier, and way more confident, having wiped a couple of slates clean.  It’s so good for your head and general well-being.  I understand that there are some things that can never be forgiven for some people.  They were traumatic, manipulative, or now is just way too soon.  And that is perfectly okay.  It won’t be long until it stops ruling your life and you feel a huge weight lifted.

This month I’ve completely channelled my focus into myself.  Not in a self-absorbed way, but in terms of understanding things that I can do better and ways to make my life easier.  For example, having a schedule for this blog keeps me driven and motivated.  It gives me a reason to reflect and understand how I feel and think, in order to put it into words.  In addition, I’ve widened the genres of my intake of all forms of media.  Discovering new writers and documentaries is far more fulfilling than scrolling through Twitter beef.   I think focussing more on myself and the values I hold has stopped me for caring about what other people are up to and becoming absorbed in their drama and gossip.   Concentrating on bettering yourself makes all the small town chatter seem so meaningless and futile.   I have found that it’s important for me to give myself a moment to be mindful.  I’ve found that the time I take for yoga really helps this.  It requires calm and concentration and I don’t think about anything else.  It helps me put everything into perspective and focus my energy into positive things.  I also feel like I’m walking on sunshine afterwards, so I guess that helps.

When I’m having a rough patch, negativity clings to me like cobwebs, and I’m kind of proud to be able to say that I’m working out how to unpick them.  Obviously there are days that are worse than others.  There are days when everything gets to people and there isn’t much that you can do about it.  But by doing these three things this month everything is seeming a little bit brighter, and I am feeling a whole lot lighter.   Here’s to caring less in 2019.

Leave a comment below or on my Instagram and let me know how you resolutions are going if you have any, or if not what is one thing you’ve started doing recently that makes you happier?

R x

Thank you for reading!
I’m Rosie and I post every Wednesday and on the last Sunday of every month.
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